5 style tips for attending a wedding and looking great

I used to think I had to go out and spend £100-£300 on a new dress, shoes and handbag every time I was invited to a wedding. 

I have made some big wedding guest outfit errors in my time - clashing colours, being 'too' creative... What you think looked edgy and in-fashion 10 years ago looks a lot less cool when you look at the photos now. 

According to Oxfam.org

 "There are 3.6 billion clothes left unworn in the nation's wardrobes - a whopping 57 items per person - with an average of 16 items only worn once and 11 still with the tags on"

I must confess to the majority of 'worn once items' that used to hide in my wardrobe were purchased for special events like weddings, balls and Halloween and Christmas parties.  

Only through my years of being creative especially when I was young and didn't have the money (and a desire to look different) I learnt how dress without actually spending lots of money by pairing up basic pieces, avoiding cheap materials and bad cuts,  and realising the power of accessories. It's actually pretty easy once you know how. It's all about preparation and not purchasing on a whim. Research and invest. Head over to Pinterest and research the look - then focus on investment pieces that you can create an addition 3-5 different looks out of. 

So here they are...the tips I'd like to share for effortless style and confidence at a wedding

5 Wedding Guest Style Tips

1. Research and invest. Keep it classy - choose sophisticated over fashionable or funky (in 10-years time you'll thank me for this advice). 
2. Wear colours that won't go out of style (classic tones) and keep your palette down to 2/3 colours. For example, the last wedding I attended I went with a peachy pink dress - white and gold. I kept my nails a peachy pink too and I avoided my usual bright orange/red lipstick, opting for brown and gold eye makeup and a neutral lip gloss
3. Wear something that 'fits' your figure - get your outfit tailored - don't try to hide your shape, embrace it. The big dress and all that extra material is reserved for the bride and her bridesmaids. Not you. 
4. Make sure you feel good, you have to feel comfortable - what matters is you feel like you look good, but you can still enjoy yourself in what you are wearing (don't wear really high heels if you can't walk in them - weddings last a long time and you'll need to be able to wear your shoes right until the end, if you want to remain looking classy!).
5. If in doubt about anything remember - keep it simple (KIS). When too many colours, textures and patterns get introduced things can get visually messy. And who doesn't like a nice kiss at a wedding ;-) 

Stay fabulous and if in doubt don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help!

Roberta x 

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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The Zero Spend Wedding Guest Outfit - Sustainably Styled - Total Confidence

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I find dressing for weddings particularly stressful - well, actually not now, but I used to. I always hated the idea that I could rock up in some generic outfit and see someone else wearing it too. Who wants to deal with that?  That's why I never buy stuff off the rack in places like Debenhams, Coast or Karen Millen anymore (plus they don't meet my new ethical fashion criteria). 

I have made a few mistakes in my time with my outfits - I won't lie, it's happened at weddings...  I always want to look and feel my best when I attend a wedding - especially if I am flying solo, but getting the right outfit that made me feel super confident used to be difficult for me. Now I have unlocked the formula - it starts with inner confidence. Knowing who you are and embracing your body shape and personality just makes the dressing part a whole lot easier. Clothes we buy off the rack cannot create this confidence, you've got to work on that bit, internally and sometimes though seeking help. But once you've got that in place, the styling part is so much more fun and acts as a super-boost tool. This is why personal styling is such an important tool for me. 

The £0 Wedding Guest Outfit - Sustainably Styled

My outfit cost me exactly £0 to pull together. 

I was resourceful and just looked at what I already had. Granted, lots of the brands don't exactly fit my new ethically sourced criteria - but what I am doing is being more sustainable in my fashion approach. I refuse to just panic-buy clothes that I won't use - plus I don't want to fall back into my old fast fashion habits. Now I know more about how cheap clothes are made, I don't want any part of it. For so long I was ignorant now I understand that if clothes are cheap, someone, somewhere pays the price.  I'm not going to chuck out what I have, but I will think twice before purchasing anything new. 

Featured in the outfit:

• An old River Island Dress (with the tags on) that I found at the back of my wardrobe

• An old New Look white blazer (taken from a suit set) nearly 2-3 years old.

• Forgotten Gold Mui Mui heels, maybe 6 years old, hiding in a shoe box on the top of my wardrobe

• A gold Accessorize purse, probably about 10 years old (a forgotten accessory) which I used instead of buying a new clutch bag

• A simple gold necklace (one I wear daily) - it's one I got years ago at a designer sample sale

• A few stacked gold rings on my thumbs, these are a few years old and were from bought from Accessorise too.

• A flower to pin onto my jacket to tie in the colours, I just so happened to have this from another wedding - probably Accessorise as well. 

Conscious Fashion. Think about what you buy. Supports Brands that give a damn.  

Conscious fashion for me is about thinking about future purchases and investing in key pieces that have been made sustainably and with fair treatment and payment to workers across the entire supply chain. I care about people and the planet and so should the fashion brands I buy from. 

In case you missed it you can read my interview with the Co-Founder Haseena Latheef of the ethical clothing brand DFYnorm over on their blog - here - I talk about conscious fashion and confidence and why the two go hand in hand. 

If it's good enough for the royal family...

If the Duchess of Cambridge can be seen doing #SustainableStyling why can't we? I've come to realise all the expenses and stress of dressing for someone else's big day is really a big waste of time and money. I've let go of this desire to not been seen in the same outfit twice. If I look good and feel good in something, why wouldn't I wear it again?

The key to dressing stress free is having a strong capsule collection, one that is versatile enough to cover you for all events and situations. Accessories can make or break an outfit - so invest wisely. I recommend gold shoes, a gold clutch bag and simple jewellery - you'll be able to create so many outfits with these. 

Remember there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good! It's not empty of shallow it just means you take pride in yourself - that's a good thing. Looking good makes me feel more sassy and ultra confident, I don't hide behind my clothes - I embrace my body shape, I enjoy what I wear. We all should be able to do that without judgment and with total confidence. 

Stay fabulous

Roberta x

If you have a fashion SOS feel free to contact me at www.robertastylelee.co.uk or on over on at: Facebook/robertastylelee 

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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Exposed - 5 Things That Can Still Knock My Confidence

Cards on the table, I haven't always been the most honest person. I have lied through my teeth for what feels like a lifetime. I'm going to show you my real hand. Some of my friends don't even know this...I was a very frightened, very lonely and extremely confused kid. Growing up I had to work pretty hard to fake my confidence.

My coping mechanism was to radiate confidence, be the fun one, the happy one and show I was able to cope and do my best at all my school activities. I applied myself and through my achievements I got people to focus on what I was good at.  My strategy was to make everyone think I was fine and that everything at home was fine too. I never imagined opening up, being vulnerable and asking for help could be a good thing...

It may explain why at fourteen I chose to go down the performing arts route, I needed to learn how to maintain this illusion. I guess you could say I had to fake it until I could make it.

I have never been good at asking for help or making myself vulnerable. Until now that is.
Despite the fact I am a confidence coach now - I am still vulnerable to knocks. I bruise too. I wanted to write this post to remind people that even the most confident people in this world can be affected by everyday situations.  We may not moan about it, or let you know - but it can still have an affect on us.

Exposed: 5 things that can still knock my confidence: 

• When a friendship I have invested in isn't reciprocated - this always upsets me. 
• When I have poured myself into project only to discover I am the one doing the lion's share. 
• Men. 
• Family. 
• Sickness & death.

Confidence is something that I still have to work at - as you can see from the above - some situations just elude me. Some days my confidence levels are more topped up than others. You heard it here first. I am human. I am not some machine that is 100% confident and operating at 100% confidence in every possible situation I encounter.  No-one is perfect, we all suffer bad days, encounter situations that can trigger insecurities and affect us in different ways.

Here are 5 things I have learnt from the above scenarios: 

• To stop investing my energy into people who are not appreciative of me. I practice gratitude for the friendships I have got and focus on all that I have that is good. 
• I consider my strengths, take stock of my weakness and remember to be more cautious about how much I give and not to surround myself with 'takers'. People that take advantage of my giving nature leave me feeling empty, used and not appreciated. 
• I'm still learning about the way the male mind works... [lol] ask me in another 10 years. Seriously, the biggest lesson I have learnt is to appreciate the differences and open up the lines of communication. You have to be vulnerable and expose yourself, potentially to being hurt. 
• Not everyone is blessed with a strong family bond. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of all the negativity, including family and focus on the people who bring goodness and happiness into your life. 
• I have accepted that sickness and death can happen at any time - and to good people. Life is so precious and we must make the most of it. This is why I chose to live a life on my own terms. 

Ultimately a confidence low will arise when you are in a situation you feel you aren't able to influence or change. Your emotions will get the better of you. You'll lose confidence in your ability to make rational decisions. This happens to the best of us, trust me! 

There will always be some areas in your life that leave you feeling more vulnerable and expose you to lows. That's life. It's what you learn from each situation and how you recover that defines you.

Stay focused and stay fabulous. 

Roberta x 

If you are interested in lifestyle and confidence coaching with me you can head on over to the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk to find out more. 

14 Ways To Feed Your Confidence

Confidence grows with time. But you can fast track confidence and learn new ways to embed confidence from your very core.

Confidence manifests itself in everything we do, in every aspect of our lives and how we treat ourselves and allow ourselves to be treated by others. It all adds up.

Consider every moment from: 

1. the type of sleep you get, 
2. what you eat, 
3. how much water you drink, 
4. the amount of exercise to take, 
5. the words you use when you talk, 
6. how you interact with people, 
7. the clothes you wear 
8. the way you hold yourself (body language)
9. what you do when you relax and socialise, 
10. how you apply yourself to work tasks, 
11. how you plan, 
12. how react to difficult situations, 
13. how you process your emotions,
14. your reactions to things you cannot control... 

As I said, confidence can manifest itself in every single thing you do. You just have to tap into it and use every opportunity to your advantage.

You become like the people you surround yourself with 

You can start to build your confidence by being around people that are confident, that are happy and that are making a success of their life.

People's attitudes are contagious - are the people's attitudes that you currently surround yourself with worth catching?

Confidence can be intimidating...

Not everyone is ready or willing to be around people that exude confidence and dare to be different. Occasionally you'll experience the 'haters' in life - the ones that try to bring confident people down. That's just par for the course and a real reflection on them and their own insecurities. Don't let that stop you on your own personal journey. In order to be different, we have to become different - sometimes that means leaving some people behind.

Confidence can be empowering 

Decide who you want to be - and go for it.

It's easier than you may think to make new friends and be in communities where confidence flows freely like a stream. These are the communities you need to seek out. You can try Facebook, Meet-Up, local groups at the library, free fitness in the community - there are a bunch of things out there right under your nose. You just have to look for it.

There are no limits. Only the ones you set for yourself.

We can all benefit from outside help and encouragement - if are looking for a coach please check out my website to find out more.

Stay fabulous

Roberta x

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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3 Things To Ask Yourself When Considering Sustainable Styling

Featured brand: DFYnorm 

What do I mean when I talk about sustainable fashion? 

I'm talking about wearing what you've got, being creative, maximising your clothes so you get as much as you can from one item. Then when you do buy a new piece - make it a piece that will last. Try to get up to 5 different outfits out of your item - make it a wardrobe staple. Take a look at my style challenge with just 3 key items from the DFYnorm collection. 

Make it a conscious purchase - rather than impulsive | 3 Things To Ask Yourself  

1. Before you rush to buy something stop and consider if you need it. 
2. Then stop to check it's been well made, it should be so well made you can wash it a 100 times and it will survive.
3. Look at the structure - would a tailor be able to open the seems and make it fit you like a glove?

The brand whose pockets you are lining don't deserve to be paid the high ticket price unless they are putting the work in behind the scenes. I don't know about you but I want to know who made my clothes. 

Ethical and sustainable fashion questions | 3 Things To Ask Yourself 

1. Do they source their materials ethically? 
2. Do they run their business in a way that is sustainable? 
3. Do they care? 

These are the questions that the new conscious fashionistas are asking. I've joined them. I care. Here at Roberta Style Lee we care - about people, the planet, ourselves, so it seems like a pretty good fit (excuse the pun) to align the RSL brand with other brands that give a damn. 

A sustainable shopping and styling approach 

I am having a severe reaction to mass produced fast fashion. I see all these 'new' clothes that get produced and I know many of these items will never make it off the hanger, they are clothes that live a lifetime at the back of the wardrobe with the tags on... and there seems to be no real signs of this consumer mass purchasing behaviour slowing down. But we can make a difference - one by one - if we dare to defy the fashion trends and stop buying stuff we don't need, in our own little way we can contribute. 

Guilty 

I have the guilt. I was one of those shoppers. A person who in my twenties shopped for a new outfit for every new night out - I had so many items of everything I couldn't count how many I had of any one thing. 

Making amends 

I used to really enjoy that feeling of buying something new. I had this positive association and a little buzz from the purchase - but I noticed that would soon fade once I got home. Then I'd be keen for my next hit... 

It's not about chucking out stuff you own that isn't produced by an ethical or sustainable brand - it's about using what you already have. You cannot undo what has already been done. But you can make damn sure that you make the most out of it.  Last year I put myself on a strict ban. I was not allowed to buy anything new unless I really needed it. 

I started to become more aware of throw away fashion when pop-up pre-loved designer sales started happening up and down the country. I got involved with a friend who set up her own business a few years back and helped her launch her first event. I worked as a stylist for the day and saw how easy it was to fall for someone else's ex. 


Withdrawal symptoms 

When I decided to change - it was tough. The first 6 months not buying things was really difficult. It was like an addiction. I did however manage to curb my shopaholic ways and started to just buy what I needed.

In 2015 year I became an brand ambassador for Bella Kinesis, an ethical sports brand that produces beautiful fitness clothing for women. This was my first conscious step into ethical fashion. 

I then decided to look at how I could be more sustainable with my fashion and I volunteered at one the Save the Children Boutiques.  I started to use my creativity again and when I got into the swing of it I was dressing the window display, re-working the outfits on the mannequins - showing shoppers how to turn an evening dress into a daytime dress etc. I realised I had had the ability to remain stylish without buying new clothes all the time. 

And so sustainable styling became a thing for me! 


Getting to know ethical brands 

In the main image above, I am wearing DFYnorm items from the transeasonal range - all crafted to a high standard. The company is new, but has big ideas about where it is heading. You can see my review of the range here. I like this brand a lot. I love what they represent.

I will be publishing a list of my favourite ethical brands soon in a new RSL directory (watch this space)  if you have any suggestions for ethical/sustainable brands that you would like me to review and include in the directory please leave me a comment. 

I hope you enjoyed this blog!

Stay fabulous (in a sustainable way of course!)

Roberta x 

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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