10 reasons to phase those people out...

It's about time you took care of yourself and stopped putting the needs of others before your own. That's right, it's OK to be selfish. In order to be successful in life you need to surround yourself with people who support your passion and commitments, love you for all the things you are good at, and all the things you are not. 

This is probably why they say you can count on one hand the people you can truly rely on.

Here are 10 good reasons why you should phase out those people in your life that bring you misery in all it's forms, from subtle to downright anguish. 

1. They make you doubt your self worth. 

2. They make you feel upset, insecure or less happy than you were before you saw them.

3. They take but never give.

4. They don't make you feel special or important.

5. They never make the effort to see you, it's always you doing the leg work.

6. You can count on one hand all the times they have said and done unforgivable things. 

7. It just feels like too much hard work. 

8. You are a second thought or not even a priority in their lives.

9. You've considered unfriending them on social media many times, but chickened out (trust your instincts - just do it).

10. You can't list 5 things that you truly love about them. 

To summarise

If they don't bring happiness and joy to the party, don't invite them. It's your life - your party. Life is too darn short to live on other peoples terms. 

Try this exercise 

Write down what makes you happy and what doesn't. Then see whether or not the people you surround yourself with come to the party with gifts galore or empty handed, or worse still leave with more than they turned up with. 

Stay focused, fit and healthy - and remember YOU are fabulous, but as with all of us, there is always room for improvement. 

Life can be brutal. But that doesn't mean you should should just sit back and suffer. The people in your life have a responsibility to bring happiness into your life too. 


Stay fab.
Roberta x

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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Life isn't actually that complicated - We just need to reboot

When I overthink it, my life seems pretty darn complicated: my career, my finances, my home, my family, my friends- and trying to plan for the future, my love life, or lack of (finding a decent guy in London feels like a job!) - and everything else in between.

It all seems like an overwhelming list of things to contend with - trouble is once I feel overwhelmed, everything can feel quite complicated.

That is, until I learnt to address the basic stuff first, like my health - then the rest became a lot easier.

I realised it's actually lots of little things (all cleverly connected), but essentially quite small simple things that need to be addressed calmly... and that's easier when you've got a healthy mind and body.

Take time out

After 24-months of intense contracting work, very full-on positions with a great deal of emotional stress placed upon me - I decided I was going to take a few months off. I'm genuinely so much better off and happier now, because I'm health first, everything else second. 

It was during this time off, I began a bit of a detox and review of my health. I was overweight, didn't feel great, exhausted, was drinking a lot when I went out to compensate for not having much time for anything else. So the fast paced seriously stressed lifestyle it turns out wasn't healthy for me. But then is it healthy for anybody? Not really. Time out to recharge your batteries is essential for everyone.

I have deliberately slowed down and I have been able to see things a little more clearly, this has enabled me to make some very healthy lifestyle changes and appreciate things from a different point of view. 

First, find a place to be with your thoughts.

We all need a place where we can think. 

I'm lucky to have a great view from my sitting room. I have a lovely tree arching around outside the window, a pond with beautiful fish (and that gentle sound of fresh water) and general greenery...it is really very relaxing. 

This has become my much needed sanctuary.  

I get my best ideas working from this space, I am able to rationalise my thoughts, clear the noise in my head, and instead of flustering over the 150 things I need to do, I am able to calmly address each one in a logical pattern and my brain is able to operate at functional pace. 

Digital Detox

We live in such a hyper-connected world these days, it's become harder than ever to switch off.  We are saturated in stimuli, distractions and demands.  Finding some time for yourself where you can relax and get in your zone is so important. I found working from home one day a week was beneficial, but sometimes what you need to do is just get offline. 

You'll find that switching off to social media and the digital world very difficult if you are active in many social networks on a daily basis (and you enjoy it). But what you think is fun to begin with can become an addiction. 

The important thing to remember is to find time to be present, in the here and now, the physical-self and the mind needs to connect with your surroundings. 

In order to appreciate what we need is difficult if we never take any time away from the overly digitalised world we live in today. It's like fast food for the brain, too much is never a good thing. 

Planning for a Digital Detox

Pick a quiet weekend where you can realistically be offline (not in the middle of a deadline at work for example):  

• You'll need to switch off your wifi & cellular data on your phone & devices to resist the temptation to surf
• Get yourself a newspaper, book or a few magazines  
• Avoid drinking alcohol (this will help you resist the urge to share everything on SM) stock up on teas or bottled water
• Pre-stock the fridge with some fresh healthy food & prepare a few meals from scratch (try using a recipe book!) 
• Plan a few activities, like yoga or running rather than watching stuff on your TV, tablet, laptop or smartphone
• Give yourself a task, one where you need to 'make' something like, repair some clothes, paint the bathroom, bake a cake, organise your wardrobe etc. 

By doing this I hope it will help you realise the time it takes to do the little things and how good it can feel to get the little things done. The sense of achievement of something practical and tangible is very encouraging and makes it feel like you haven't wasted valuable time. 

See how it feels to switch off!

The Reboot 

A digital detox is the equivalent of a reboot.  Even technology needs the occasional refresh and reload. We waste a lot of time online, and being constantly engaged on SM channels can prevent you from doing things that bring about the much needed balance in everyday life .

I have my new found health and sense of self, I know what I need and what I don't. Because I am focused in my health and wellbeing, I am OK with what I look like (first time in ages) and I understand the needs of my own body.  I am more in tune with my emotional needs too. I understand what is in my life, what isn't, and which of those make me feel happy and secure.

With all that taken care of, all the others things in my life really don't seem as complicated anymore. 

Stay fit and stay fresh

Roberta x 

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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How one women can inspire a generation of women

There are many women out there who deserve to be mentioned. So many women have done so much for us in closing the gender gap and fighting for equality and basic human rights. 

Of course, men have done plenty too, but the rise of women and #girlpower is a wonderful thing to see blossom. I felt that a blog post in support of International Women's Day today was necessary. 

Men and women have different strengths, but no gender is more important than the other. Both genders have an equal role to play in leveling out the playing field and creating a fair and balanced future for all of us. Respecting we need one another and gain comfort from one another does not mean we are weaker than one another. 

Women have shown their strength in so many ways and continue to do so everyday. Some decide to take action and fight for the equality of women on a larger scale. Others do little things in their every day lives. Nothing is wrong with either approach - as long as we all appreciate what we all do, and support one another along the way. That includes women supporting women, and men supporting women, and women supporting men. What do you do to show your #girlpower, ladies?

I have a love of fitness and fashion, and today I share my admiration and respect of Coco Chanel, who defeated the odds and carved out a lucrative career in the fashion industry - and created a new style, all at a time when men dominated the industry. She had a passion, determination and grit - something that growing up without life's luxuries can really give you. Coco Chanel never let her situation define her, who she could be and what she was capable of, regardless of what society thought of her. A true fashion icon and a real example to women that we can stand up and be different and succeed, as long as we believe. 

Read more on Coco Chanel's life story here.

Stay fab and focused!
Roberta x

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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Take a moment to reflect and discover what makes you truly happy

Today, I had a lovely catch up with an ex colleague and I was pleasantly reminded about how easy it is to work hard at something when you genuinely love what you are doing.  We discussed life in general and she commented on how happy I sounded. I responded saying that something just clicked for me, and it felt so right for my New Year's Resolution to be about leading a happy balanced lifestyle - not just for a month or two but for the rest of my life. 

In the pursuit of happiness, I have spent the last few months contemplating my life choices and evaluating where my happier moments in life have been. I'm also on a Mind, Body & Lifestyle Transformation Journey, which, not surprisingly, is making it easier to appreciate the times where I am/was at my happiest. 

I've made time to think about when I was at my unhappiest and tried to pinpoint areas that were most likely the reasons for creating such negativity in my life. Chasing money definitely took me down a road which cost me my health, as well as trying to keep up with my peers on the corporate career ladder. Sometimes all it takes is a few moments to think and make a list.

Try thinking back to a time where you were really truly happy:

1. What were you doing? 
2. How much time were you investing in it?
3. Who were you spending time with?
4. Did it feel like a lot of work, or did time fly by?
5. Did you resent waking early or finishing late? 
6. Were you excited or inspired to do more?
7. How did you feel about yourself?
8. Were you taking care of your mind & body?
9. Find a picture of yourself during this time in your life (if you can). 

This next part will probably be easier, because we tend to hang onto negative memories more vividly than happy ones.

Now try thinking back to a time where you were really truly unhappy:

1. What were you doing? 
2. How much time were you investing in it?
3. Who were you spending time with?
4. Did it feel like a lot of work, or did time fly by?
5. Did you resent waking early or finishing late? 
6. Were you excited or inspired to do more?
7. How did you feel about yourself?
8. Were you taking care of your mind & body?
9. Find a picture of yourself during this time in your life (if you can). 

In writing my list, I discovered that I lost:

• Time for myself - I was too busy 
• My figure -  My fitness deteriorated
• Self-esteem - I had self-doubt and constantly needed approval from others 
• My energy - I executed poor diet choices which led an excessive unbalanced lifestyle 
• Sleep - My unhealthy lifestyle impacted my quality of sleep, which then hurt my diet and motivation

Take both of those mental pictures and place them side by side. Even better, use actual pictures of yourself, one from a happy time and one from a negative time. Use the pictures as motivation to help you become your former happy self, or to prevent you going back to the place where you felt most unhappy. 

You can be either one of those people in the pictures. You are in control of who you want to be. 

Happy & Healthy Vs Unhappy & Unhealthy

Confronting my own choices and really trying to understand WHY I have behaved in certain ways has helped me rediscover my own road to personal happiness! There are certain people, places, and environments which are just not healthy for me. Removing myself from these influences has already had such a positive impact on my overall self-esteem and attitude towards myself. 

I found that the majority of my own actions during my periods of lower self-esteem were 
created by my own negative emotions - a vicious cycle that perpetuated the feeling of unhappiness and continued lack of self-esteem. 

I only need to look at my pictures above as a stark reminder that my lifestyle choices really do have an impact on my quality of life, how I feel, behave, and of course how I look. 

You can sit and watch or stand up and join in.

Some people spend their entire life searching for something that makes them happy. And it seems like just the lucky ones get to make a living out of their passion.  But as I'm learning, it doesn't have to be that way.

We are all responsible for our life choices. 

We decide if we are going to eat well, exercise, surround ourselves with people who are positive, or stay in environments that are negative. Making a change can be scary.  It can be a costly transition too. The main thing to stay focused on is the bigger picture. You will get there.  It doesn't matter how many times you try and fail, what matters is where you end up. 

When starting out things may be difficult,  it may cause some short term stress and it may even set you back financially. But just cast your mind back to your happiest memories and remember why you were passionate about life then, refocus yourself to work towards regaining those 'feelings'.  Take a look at that photo, the one where you were happy...

If it was easy to change, everyone would do it. And everyone would be working in a job that they love - and every one would be happy. But then people like me wouldn't have career ahead of them that helps people get back on track and find a healthy, happy life. 

Change starts now...

Being active and healthy, using my sense of empathy and motivational skills, collaborating, seeing the bigger picture, utilising my creativity and innovation are things that make me feel happy in myself and happy around others. When I think back to my 'happy' time I was self employed and doing all of the aforementioned activities on a daily basis. 

Being healthy and having a fit body motivates me, it fuels my passion to help others lead healthier happier lives. In a few weeks from now I will be launching my part-time career in fitness & lifestyle coaching, which I know will make me a happier more balanced person.

Stay fab and focused!
Roberta x 

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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USA PRO - a perfect fashion fit

I'd patiently been waiting for my delivery to arrive and I'm pleased to say, I'm thrilled with my new USA PRO workout gear.

Plus, it was barmy-barmy cheap too, thanks to the January Sales and ordering via Sports Direct. 

I have saved 100s of pounds by switching from Nike/Adidas and the fit & patterns are waaaay better. I haven't tried Fabletics yet, so I can't compare these.

The petite challenge 

I bought one item which doesn't really do me any favours: a pair of large daisy print ankle length workout leggings (which look super cool!). I failed to listen to my own advice, I was reminded why petite people shouldn't wear large prints.

They are quite unflattering and they make my legs look fatter than they are. No going outside of the flat in these I'm afraid... (these I will keep, but they are for my eyes only, haha, unless I get very slim limbs someday in the future). 

The good news is that everything else I ordered, looks good, fits like a dream, is comfortable, seemingly well tailored, and looks pretty trendy as far as exercise gear goes!

Above: teamed with my Reebok Adiprene trainers 👍 but no matching top, as they had none in size 6 left. Gutted!

Above: a key feature on these for me is the super comfortable waistband which can be folded over. They also have a hidden pocket with zip in the waistband positioned at the back. 

Above: all these items are nicely finished especially the seams. No imprints were left on my legs after wearing them either. 

All the USA PRO items are made from good, thick material too. I honestly just cannot get enough of these items in these great colours! Shame they have ran out of size matching sports tops in size 6 though. (Another little moan, sorry!)

Above: USA PRO leggings (size 8) standard length with nice pink detail at the ankle. Worn with a USA PRO pink sports top (again, the smallest one they do is a size 6) - both fit well, although not a set, they do look good together. 

Above: Again, these work well with my trainers. And whilst they are a little long in the leg (USA PRO doesn't do petite sizes), they are acceptable! 

Above: USA PRO Sports top in hot pink is a good fit, and have extra support and padding to hold everything in place. So, even if it's cold your top won't show anything you don't want people to see ;-) 

The good news is these are still available in the sale at £5.99!!! (Maybe not small sizes though). 

Above: USA PRO cycling shorts 

These bad-boys are a steal! Just £2.19! I couldn't believe they were so cheap... again, they must have loads of these as they are still on sale, with small sizes, so this is a good option for petite ladies. 

Above: They even have cute detailing on the back.

Above: Now these I ❤️ love❤️ but I couldn't get the matching top in a size 6. Boo! These must be popular. They are featured in the ad, so maybe that's why. The fit is super flattering.

Above: The dark patterns don't add much volume and the flocked detail makes then feel less like sports wear and more like a fashion item. 

I start my Personal Training course in a few weeks, and I'm all set for full time study and practical learning. I'm looking forward to getting fitter and all the while looking fab in my new clothes.

Stay fit and fashionable!

Roberta x 

You can see more over on the website at www.robertastylelee.co.uk 

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